This is where we came in. Many may remember when movie houses continuously showed their features i.e., if you came in after a movie started you just waited until the movie played to the end then started running again from the beginning. When the movie reached the point where one came in, hence the expression “this is where we came in.” Movie houses don’t continuously run movies any more so there is little use or call for the expression anymore
I vaguely recall saying I would say more about my feelings about a stroke when I had access to a real keyboard, I cannot convey the fear, loneliness and horror waking up in a bed in at an early morning hour pitch black outside and deadly quiet at an unknown place unable to move parts of my body and my back was killing me. I vaguely understood from somebody I had had a stroke and was in a rehab center which only increased the feeling of fear and isolation. My half brother Jim had suffered a stroke and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life and couldn’t talk. Memories of the protagonist in the movie “Million Dollar Baby”only increased the fear as neither was a future I want. I soon learned I had suffered a stroke while walking granddog Penny. I was told I was very lucky to have been transported to a hospital that knew how to treat a stroke and had been treated in a timely manner. This helped limit brain damage and limited paralysis and probably saved my life. As it was I was in intensive care for 3 days, I remember a priest who was with Kathy had seen me and had asked if I WANTED THE BLESSING FOR THE SICK. For a second I was afraid I was getting the last rites, my brother Michael and his daughter Margaret had driven in from Chicago. I never got to see Margaret because of Covid and was only vaguely aware of his and others presence. I rapidly discovered at the rehab center I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t make a fist with my left hand. I was pleased the next day I spontaneously could. It gave me hope. I canot express how important that hope was and is to me. For a time I needed to be wheeled to a bathroom and only got around in a wheel chair. With some work I graduated to a walker. I’m home now and still use the walker and am working on gradulating to a cane, I can do some walking unassisted though that is not encouraged because of the danger of falls, I am a little skeptical of the danger but am fully cognizant that should I fall and break something there probablygoes any hope of ever walking unassisted again.
The worst thing is I feel horribly old walking with a cane or more generally I just feel old. This in some part I think is due that I no longer trust my body. I do know I would not want a future like the protagonist in “Million Dollar Baby.” In short this experience has disabused me of the emotional belief that I am immortal. Not a small thing. On the other hand I draw inspiration From the Netflix Jack Ryan series where Ryan made a complete recovery from a tramatic brain injury. Of such straws is hope made of.
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